How Bold are You?

Sorry for missing a week, but I was in hardcore study mode for the GMAT.  Also, to be clear, below I am talking about being BOLD, not BRASH.

I just finished a book called The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, and I loved it.  The book made me think about quite a few things including:

• How my past affects my actions and thoughts today
• How little things you grew up with linger in your mind, and how simple things like smells can trigger memories
• How a lack of action or boldness creates regret today

Let’s focus on the third one.  Recently, my father passed away after battling with cancer.  Over the past few months, I’ve given my father space as he was a very private man, and I know that he didn’t want people to see him as he deteriorated.  There were a few times where I had spoken to him, or my step-mother (a strong lady by the way that had her own battles along the way), and just wanted to drive down to the Bay Area to visit them, but the response was often, “Today isn’t a good day,” or, “It’s been a tough week.”

I would push a little, but then acquiesce because Dad was sick and I didn’t want to make it tougher on him.  At least that was my logic in all of this.  Part of it was because I didn’t realize that he was in such bad shape.  Another part was because Dad didn’t really let on how bad he was in pain, feeling, or what was going on.  Even my step-mom thought he wasn’t in pain even in his last couple of days.  Still another part was that I thought he would still be around longer, or pull out of this.

My regrets, like Ali’s in The Kite Runner, were because I wasn’t bold enough to just drive down to the Bay Area, and tell him, “I want to spend some time with you, Dad.  Just hang out, watch some tube or football, nothing crazy.”  Unfortunately, now I get to live with the regret that my last real conversation with my Dad was about the pain he was in, and giving my permission for him to let go which was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

As I sit here writing this – with a tear in my eye caused only by my regret brought on by my lack of boldness – I’m thinking of the things I would have liked to talk to my dad about.  Some were serious, others just wanting to know more about him, his youth, why he made decisions he made, and learning more about our family.  I never got to have those conversations with my dad, and I’ll always regret it.

There are two types of regret:

1. Regret because you were bold (e.g. you made a tough decision and it didn’t quite go the way you hoped)
2. Regret because you were not bold (e.g. you failed to be decisive, and missed an opportunity)

Those people that say they live their lives with no regret are naïve, or full of it, because they’ve never made a big or tough decision in their lives.  Sadly, I’d imagine that many of those people will have regrets when they are much older because they weren’t bold.

In sales we are called upon to be bold fairly often:

Do I go over the middle manager’s head to get to the actual decision-maker? My bet is that you regret not being bolder in the first place and calling the C-Suite of the company.

Do I break away from exactly what the RFP is asking, question people in multiple departments, and present a solution based on real input and not what was asked? Is it worth the risk of being disqualified in order to give the potential customer something real?  Do they really know the right questions to ask for an RFP as the area covered by the RFP isn’t their area of expertise?

Do I close the deal now?  Should I wait until I get a few more buying signs?

I could go on, but you get the point.  Part of our job is to be bold, and I’d rather have regrets over making a decision, taking a risk, and being bold.  It’s much better than the feelings the character Ali dealt with through The Kite Runner, and that I’m dealing with now because of my lack of boldness with regard to my father.  It’s also easier to learn from a mistake or failure caused by being bold, than it is to only regret not doing something when you had the opportunity.

Do you have regrets (I’m sure you do)?  Are they because of being bold, or because you weren’t?

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